Self Esteem Counseling

Building Healthy Self Esteem

There are many benefits associated with having healthy self-esteem—feeling good, taking up appropriate challenges, relating to people as equals, and feeling relaxed in daily life situations. Good self-esteem isn’t something that you can achieve overnight. You need to work on it over time, and sometimes therapy can help. This is particularly important in situations where you’re faced with setbacks or difficulties. Here are a few reminders to help you build and maintain healthy self-esteem.


Accept yourself. Every one of us has faults and weaknesses—this is part of being human. The key to healthy self-esteem is self-acceptance. This means accepting yourself as you are without condemning yourself for your perceived shortcomings.


Avoid labeling yourself. When you don’t reach a goal or perform as well as you hoped, it’s easy to label yourself as ”bad” in some way. For example, you might say things like I’m an idiot. This is a form of labeling. Labeling yourself is a negative way of thinking because it relies on an over-generalization.


Recognize your strengths and weaknesses. Having healthy self-esteem means that you are able to feel good about yourself even though you’re not perfect.


Set goals. Although it’s important to practice self-acceptance, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t aim to strive for self-improvement.  Setting personal and professional goals is the cornerstone of making positive life changes.


Be objective about situations. When you personalize an event or situation, you take responsibility for things that aren’t your fault, or you blame yourself for negative outcomes without taking all factors into account.


Avoid comparisons. Some people are in the habit of comparing themselves to others. They judge themselves on things like their looks, their grades, their friends, their achievements, and even their personality. There will always be people who seem to be doing better than you are, and if you compare yourself to them, you’ll end up always feeling unsatisfied with yourself.


Communicate assertively. The way you communicate with other people gives them information on how you feel about yourself.

Misti Luke, LCSW Private Practice offers individual psychotherapy focusing on self-esteem aimed at helping individuals discover, acknowledge, and appreciate his/her internal human worth to increase self-esteem.  

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© 2021 Misti Luke. All Rights Reserved

Misti Luke, LCSW Private Practice

817 West Choctaw Street

Broken Bow, Oklahoma 74728 

Office: 580-212-2283

Fax: 405-438-3810